How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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