playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Randomize
