I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
