You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
