1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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