Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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