I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
