she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
They took my balls.
In other news, I just burned my penis
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
