Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
