hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
