PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I need moral support for this bender
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
