The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
