hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
