and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
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