yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
