There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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