you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
