just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
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