Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
