He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
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