do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Found the puke drawer
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
