haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
