forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
