THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
