Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
