i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
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