belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
