and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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