By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
