I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
it was like eating out sand paper
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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