The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I love you.
Bad choice
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize