David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
