im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
