Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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