Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
