Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
