Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
