did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
There's always time for handjobs
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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