my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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