So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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