physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
