Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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