Welp...herpes.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
