Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Randomize
