I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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