On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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