im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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