Say something about gay babies.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
