he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Randomize
