sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
