And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
