the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Randomize
