I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
