We won't sleep together?
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
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