Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
